


Family Kitchen

by DearCat



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Adopted Sibling Relationship, Explicit Language, Families of Choice, Family Bonding, Family Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Platonic Relationships, Reborn has all the blackmail, Sibling Love, Sibling Rivalry, Squalo would like it noted that he won, Xanxus: messing with Iemitsu for reasons, Xanxus: the real winner, because the Varia, give the man some credit, he had 4 sons, the ninth knows what you are doing, who needs them anyway?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2021-01-27 00:10:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21382873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DearCat/pseuds/DearCat
Summary: If there’s one thing Tsuna knows, it’s this: most family bonding happens around the kitchen table.
Relationships: Sawada Nana & Sawada Tsunayoshi, Varia & Vongola Tenth Generation
Comments: 58
Kudos: 705
Collections: Precious Rare and Unique





	Family Kitchen

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy!

Tsuna and his mother have an understanding. It hasn’t always been this way or, at least, it hasn’t always been in such good shape. Before Reborn, their understanding had been mostly centred around the kitchen. After Reborn, though, that’s a different story. Reborn, as always, is a catalyst. Sowing chaos wherever he goes. 

Tsuna is sometimes afraid of the fact that he now finds it endearing.

Their understanding is actually simple to comprehend, for all that it’s tacit. Tsuna is far more his mother’s son than he is Iemitsu’s, after all. So he knows that the house in Namimori is the home that Nana built for herself and her family, he knows her joy at having her home full of laughter and people. And he craves to create one of his own.

He knows all of this the same way that Nana knows that the people in Nana’s home are Tsuna’s, not hers. They will leave, following behind him once he builds his own home. I-Pin, Lambo and Futa will call and visit, of course, but they’ll follow Tsuna all the same. Nana and Tsuna understand this and respect it. 

For all that they are not all that close, they are still the only consistent family they had for a while.

When the time comes to move to Italy, Tsuna does so without remorse and without looking back. Nana and he are both homemakers, after all, this was always going to be the way of things. He leaves with his people at his heels and Reborn on his shoulder, knowing that Dino will receive them as soon as they arrive.

Dino takes being a big brother seriously. 

The Vongola Mansion is intimidating on the outside but Tsuna falls in love with the family wing as soon as he steps a foot in it. He wastes no time at all in making it a home for the chaotic bunch of people he calls family. The end result is glorious, though the kitchen staff did fight valiantly for the personal kitchen in the family wing.

Tsuna commends them for it but kicks them out, all the same, they can and will handle the cooking for the rest of the mansion but Tsuna’s family will be fed by Tsuna’s hand. This is the home that Tsuna is building after all. So he takes command of the kitchen and makes sure his family know to be there for breakfast and dinner.

With their schedules, lunch is a lost cause. Though Tsuna does pack bentos for each of them, carefully selected. Interestingly enough, the cutest of them is not for Chrome but for Kyoya. 

His guardians are a rowdy bunch and with Reborn urging them on, the chaos is both glorious and unending. Tsuna loves it. So what if the family wing is always a little destroyed somewhere? It shows it’s lived in and it gives Tsuna continued opportunities for remodelling. It’s stressing sometimes but it’s also so very fulfilling.

He’s always open to new styles.

The cooking, though, it’s what Tsuna is the proudest of. 

Even before Reborn, when he sucked at pretty much everything, Tsuna had been a good cook. He didn’t cook much in Namimori because food is important in a home and Tsuna respects his mother too much to step on her toes like that. But here? The family wing is the home Tsuna built and here, he cooks.

Breakfast gets done every morning, taking care of making everybody’s coffee or tea just right and making sure the food is the one they like. Japanese breakfast or Italian breakfast or anything in-between. Admittedly, most of it gets done on auto-pilot. Tsuna is not a morning person, not even Reborn could change that. 

Still, breakfast gets done all the same and Tsuna has his mother’s ability to know exactly what people like to eat. In this, his guardians and tutor are delighted. There’s nothing better to start a day than good food, after all. What they don’t expect is that as much as Tsuna is his mother’s son, he’s also Reborn’s student.

With how little Iemitsu had to do with Tsuna’s upbringing, Reborn is the closest thing he has to a fatherly figure in his life and Reborn is an Italian man through and through. He’s touchy with his affections and Tsuna has learnt to follow suit. It doesn’t help that Dino is very much the same, with his hugs and kisses to the top of Tsuna’s head. 

And yet, none of them sees it coming when after a very tiring all-nighter, Tsuna drags himself to the kitchen to make them breakfast and the first thing he does is distribute kisses and hair ruffles as he gives out coffee and tea. Tsuna is still wearing the same suit he wore to the office the day before.

Nobody notices, of course. Except for Reborn, who sees everything and knows everything to boot. They are all a little too occupied with their sputtering and flailing, trying to hide their blushing faces. Tsuna notices none of it, either, because he’s more asleep than awake and far too invested in making the perfect breakfast.

He does, however, make a mental note to stock up in some medicine because everybody seems to have caught the flu, judging by their coughing, at least. 

They are all embarrassed to admit it but they very much liked it. After all, from the tenth generation, Ryohei is the only one who had any sort of normal childhood. And even then, the Japanese culture is far less tactile than the Italian one. Takeshi’s father was a hitman, and although loving, he was never one for kisses or hugs. The rest of them? Well, the less said about it, the better. 

It’s Reborn who clues them in and so, a small conspiracy comes to pass. Nothing hurtful, of course, just a little devious. And Tsuna was never a morning person, to begin with, he works far better at night. So it’s not like they’re hurting anything. It’s all wins across the board. 

Meetings start getting scheduled later and later, paperwork delivered closer to the evening. It means that Tsuna works more during the night and if that means he’s sleepier and therefore more affectionate during breakfast, well… What a nice coincidence, that. 

Of course, they are not irresponsible enough to overwork him, they make sure Tsuna has a nice nap after he sends them off. He sleeps a couple of hours more under the watchful gaze of Reborn before getting ready for work. They’d been careful, Chrome had been sent to Shamal to consult in an appropriate sleep schedule that would work for them. 

If anybody asks, well, it’s better for security. Shamal is amused enough to play along. 

Wins, all around.

And then the Varia happen because, of course, they do. The Varia always happens, sooner or later. It’s not like they actually mind it, the Varia are just as crazy as them, at the end of the day. They’re like the insane overprotective older brothers none of them knew they needed or wanted but got all the same. 

Their love just happens to be a little more destructive and violent than most. And also in denial. Like the older brothers that kinda love their younger siblings but also don’t want those siblings cramping their style. They have a reputation of heartless badasses to protect. 

Varia HQ gets levelled to the ground, a training accident, they say. The Tenth Generation knows better, of course, but they will not be tattling. The Ninth can ask all his questions for hours, even Reborn can if he wants to. In the age-old sacred sibling tradition, they know nothing and have seen nothing. If the Varia say it’s a training accident, then that is what it must be. 

Accidents happen, sometimes. Besides, it’s not like it’s a problem, is it? Tsuna is more than happy to have them in the family wing and Varia HQ needed renovating anyway. It’s an opportunity disguised as a problem. The Ninth listens to all of this, nods slowly in bemusement, and leaves. The Varia Officers don’t even twitch. 

That’s how the Varia’s stay in the Vongola Mansion begins.

Most of the Varia don't even bring their own luggage. Why would they go through that when they're rich as fuck and can simply buy it all over again? Packing is for losers and they are Varia Quality. It has nothing to do with the fact that HQ is no more and their suites along with it. Nothing at all. It's their story and they are sticking to it. 

Surprisingly enough, or maybe unsurprisingly, the move goes seamlessly. The Varia fold into the Tenth Generation's routine like they were always there. That’s to say: it’s chaos all around and so the Varia adding to it doesn’t really change much. Business as usual.

Squalo is the only sane person in the Varia and he knows it. Well, he’s the only one somewhat sane. In their case, that’s good enough. He’s also a very competitive man. So when he wakes up in the morning and sees the goddamm race to reach the kitchen? He wakes his people up and rushes over. 

Because by the baseball god, he _ won’t _ be beaten by the brats. And _ no _, he hasn’t been spending too much time with the baby-swordsman, it’s just that if he’s going to swear to a god he doesn’t believe in, it might as well be the baseball one. He doesn’t wake up the boss because Squalo is not suicidal, thank you very much. 

When it comes to Xanxus, sleep is sacred and not to be disturbed unless in case of emergency. And even then, it has to be approached with caution. If the emergency is not Zombie Apocalypse Level, well then… Squalo hopes you have your affairs in order, you poor sucker. 

It’s important to note that you should have them in order even if the emergency is Zombie Apocalypse Level. Just in case. The shitty boss might just decide to shoot you for the heck of it and only then go ahead and blast the damn zombies. 

None of that matters, what matters is that Squalo is the only somewhat sane person in the Varia and he knows it. And so, when all the other trash is fighting each other for the first seat by the table like fucking babies, Squalo just carefully edges around those idiots and sits the fuck down.

Now, Squalo is not sure what he just won and he doesn’t care either. All he cares about is that he won. That’s the important part. By the time everybody is sitting if still grumbling, though, Squalo kind of wants to know what all this shit show is about. He would have thought that Reborn would have thrown him out but the hitman hasn’t.

He’s just sitting to the side with a camera in his hands and Squalo is starting to get nervous. He might not have hyper intuition but he’s got some fucking good instincts and right now, they are screaming at him. It makes him twitchy.

That’s when the mini-boss shows up in the kitchen still in his pyjamas and looking remarkably like a ruffled kitten. It’s disgustingly adorable, Lussuria agrees with him too, judging by the way the crazy sun is cooing from his seat. Squalo is distracted from the observation when the unthinkable happens. 

Tsunayoshi sets a coffee mug in front of Squalo, which is fine. It’s great. Everything is fucking dandy so far. But then, as Squalo takes it, the little brat moves forward and kisses Squalo’s cheek as he brushes Bel’s hair, taking extra care of the prince’s shitty tiara. Squalo is at a loss here. Should he scream? Should he pick up his sword?

What just happened?

A part of him is convinced that this _ didn’t _ happen and Squalo is just imagining things. 

Except that it happens again. The prince-trash chokes on his own giggles when the mini-boss goes right ahead and kisses Belphegor’s forehead. Squalo watches with something like sadistic amusement as the blonde-trash ducks his head down to hide his blush. It’s not very effective.

Squalo is never going to let the shitty prince live this down. He watches in almost morbid curiosity when the same thing repeats itself with their flamboyant sun who is more than happy to lend his other cheek for another kiss. Tsunayoshi complies, which is even worse, adding in a sleepily mumbled “morning” for good measure, it seems. 

Levi takes the kiss like a sulking toddler. Squalo can honestly see the phantasies of the idiotic lightning dancing over the man’s head. Never going to happen, that’s for sure. The day the boss wakes up early to cook them breakfast and dole out morning kisses is the day Squalo signs himself up into a mental asylum. 

Fran is the only one of them who takes the kiss with any sort of calm and that lasts only until he turns to the baby-boxer and chooses to open his mouth. "Is this some sort of ritualistic offering?" 

Ryohei, of course, is too busy getting his own good morning kiss to answer. Fran nods like his suspicions have been confirmed anyway.

Right. Enough is enough. Squalo is about to start screaming out of self-preservation alone because this is just too embarrassing to be acknowledged when he catches sight of Xanxus dropping on his throne by the kitchen table. It makes the entire room pause and hold its breath. 

Not that the shitty boss notices, of course. The shitty boss is too busy yawning into his fist as he lounges, waiting for his breakfast like the self-serving bastard that he is. It’s like watching a natural disaster waiting to happen, they all know it’s going to be a catastrophe but it’s impossible to look away. 

They all watch, wide-eyed, as the mini-boss drops a coffee mug along with the first plate of food in front of the still mostly asleep Xanxus. So far so good, Squalo is pretty sure that he is not the only one at the brink of a heart attack. And then it happens again, Tsuna raises his hand and cards his fingers through Xanxus’ hair, pulling it back so he can kiss Xanxus’ forehead. 

To their surprise, Xanxus doesn’t immediately explode into violence. He just blinks stupidly at his breakfast, mouth hanging open in slight surprise, then he turns to look at the mini-boss and back at his breakfast again. Slowly but surely, he starts turning as red as the feathers in his hair. 

The way Xanxus ducks his head earns him another kiss, this one on the top of his head. By this point, the shitty boss is so red that Squalo is somewhat expecting steam to come out of the man’s ears or something. Nobody dares to so much as move. 

Except for Reborn. The shitty tutor is practically vibrating in glee, his camera cheerfully snapping away. 

Needless to say, they all eat in stupified silence. 

It doesn’t end there, _ of course _, it doesn’t. When it comes to the mini-boss, nothing is ever that simple. No, the mini-boss stays with them while they eat, absentmindedly refilling plates and mugs all the while dropping kisses on unsuspecting cheeks. It’s nerve-wracking. 

When they’re ready to leave, Tsuna is there to straighten ties, wish them a good day and plant a last kiss on their cheeks before shuffling them at the door. The Varia don’t make it very far, they just make their way to the car before turning to look at each other. One look is all they need, this won’t be ever mentioned again. 

That said, Squalo would like to state for the record that he 100% won. 

By the end of the day, they have all forgotten about it. Mostly by the power of denial. They are the Varia, even the power of their denial is Quality. Varia Quality. Ordinary denial is for losers. They kill their targets a little more viciously than necessary to reassert their badassery but other than that, they are secure in their ability to ignore the crazy. 

Which is why the twisted twilight zone they seem to now be living in makes a reappearance and proves them wrong. When somebody opens his door during the night, Squalo wakes immediately. He shifts almost imperceptibly to reach for the gun he has hidden on a disguised hole in his mattress. 

He’s ready to shot the poor unfortunate idiot who thought to try and kill the Varia’s second in command when he finally registers the soft footsteps of the mini-boss. Squalo freezes, slowly letting go of his gun, trying to process what the fuck is going on as Tsuna carefully covers him better with the blankets and tucks him in. 

His mind is blown. That’s it for him, it’s just not computing.

In the end, he ends up playing sleeping beauty until the mini-boss leaves his room. He even gets a kiss to the forehead.

The next morning is awkward as all hell. Squalo just sits there by the kitchen table, looking at the rest of the Varia, as they look back at him. Yes, even Xanxus is there with a weird look on his face. The shitty boss looks like he’s not sure whether he should lash out or start blushing and the end result is funny enough that Squalo has to bite his cheek to stop himself from laughing. 

Squalo wouldn’t bother but he’s pretty sure his face is not all that better. It really doesn’t take a genius to realize that all of them got the tuck-in routine last night and none of them is too sure of how to react to it. Squalo himself has mixed feelings. On the one hand, emotions. But on the other hand, great food. 

It’s hard, alright?

“I,” Fran starts, sounding smug as hell while ignoring the awkwardness that surrounds them, “got two goodnight kisses.”

Unsurprisingly, that gets Belphegor to react. “Ushishishi, the prince has no need for silly kisses.”

“Oooh! Do tell, darling!” Of course, Lussuria would jump at that little bit of gossip.

It doesn’t get further than that, though. The brats show up, all flustered and fighting for the remaining seats and the Varia just quiet down, unsure of how to proceed because leaving now would just look like they’re running away and they won’t, dammit. But at the same time, morning kisses, what the hell. 

But the food, though. The food!!

Tsuna shows up not much later, once again still more asleep than awake and in his pyjamas. As the mini-boss passes by them, Fran turns to look at Belphegor, challenge in his eyes, and tilts his head just so. Tsuna immediately stops, bends forward and plants a kiss on Fran’s cheek.

Belphegor hisses like an offended cat but when the baby-boss passes by him, the shitty prince tilts his head up and gets a kiss on his forehead and then moves his head slightly to the right and gets a second kiss on his cheek. Tsuna is just stepping back when Bel sends Fran a victorious smirk. 

Fran nods sagely from his seat, apparently accepting the challenge. 

Now, as previously mentioned, Squalo is a competitive fucker. He can’t stand to lose and, in the Varia, he’s the norm, not the exception. They are the best of the best for a reason. Fran issued a challenge that Bel _ answered _ and the rest of them, minus Lussuria who is delighted, might be embarrassed by the kisses but they also refuse anything other than victory. 

All of this means that when Tsuna gives Squalo his good-morning kiss along with, quite frankly, a glorious mug of coffee, Squalo angles his body just so and gets a second kiss on his cheek. Before the brat can fully pull away, the swordsman takes a sip of his hot coffee and ducks his head enough to get a third kiss on top of his hair.

Predictively, things escalate from there. 

Lussuria is too busy squealing and taking pictures to fully participate but he’s also the reason they realize that Tsuna doesn’t need to be sleepy to react to their cues for kisses, he just needs to be suitably distracted. The exuberant sun is even blatant about it and Tsuna still doesn’t bat an eyelash, he simply gives out kisses and hair ruffles as requested.

The rest of the Varia, however, have their fucking pride and so they won’t go around asking for kisses and mushy shit. Oh no, they make a show of finding it annoying. And if at some point they all lost count on who is winning? Well, who cares! The point is that _ someone is _and the rest of them will work damn hard to become that someone sooner or later.

People freaked-out looks when the Vongola Decimo kisses Belphegor on the top of his head while congratulating him on a good job are just one of the many upsides. The fact that the shitty prince turned tomato-red is just the cherry on top. Such a shame, though, that the blond brat was covered in enough blood to make it hard to tell. 

Tsuna casually cleaning up the left-over blood with the back of his hand? Gold.

At the end of the day, they declare Xanxus the winner, mostly for self-preservation but also because they are the Varia and they like Quality over quantity. 

Iemitsu’s face is glorious. 

It happens during a meeting, the mini-boss, Iemitsu, some of the Ninth’s guardians, Xanxus and the Varia, Hibari and Chrome are all sitting around the conference table connected to Tsunayoshi’s office. Tempers are, as expected, ridiculously high. They have been going around this issue for hours and hours now and still, a consensus has not been reached.

Mostly because the Ninth Generation refuses to boot out, aren’t most of these people fucking retired anyway? Squalo is about to remind them of this fact, violently if needed, when his mind screeches to a halt. All of this because of his shitty boss who is morally opposed to ever showing weakness in public. The same one who drops down on his chair suddenly looking so very tired and sighs, bone-deep.

It earns the man bug-eyed looks all across the room. Squalo figures out what’s going on when Tsuna instantly turns to the Varia Commander, exhausted concern all over his body language, and drops a hand on Xanxus’ shoulder accompanied by a kiss on top of his head. Xanxus shrugs which earns him a kiss on the cheek.

Making it look natural, Xanxus looks up at the mini-boss from under his bangs. The mini-boss, of course, responds to that with a kiss to the forehead and when the shitty boss exhales like he’s letting go of the tension in his muscles, he gets a kiss to the tip of his nose. 

The silence is only broken by Tsuna serving Xanxus some whiskey and then passing it over while he ruffles the smug man’s hair. Needless to say, Iemitsu starts bawling and can only be taken away by gunpoint. Specifically, Reborn’s gun.

Meeting over and done with, the rest of them leave the room with an odd mixture of horrified disbelief and smug victory.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[PODFIC] Family Kitchen](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24293326) by [silvershadowkit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/silvershadowkit/pseuds/silvershadowkit)


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